Going Against the Grain
Will Smith recently received an award during the latest American Music Awards and during his speech, he said that he promised his grandmother that he’ll do whatever it takes to represent the right works, whether it’s in his music or in Hollywood. He then went on to say that it had been really tough for him to hang on to his principles when he’s always being pushed towards negativity, which in today’s society, is the ‘norm’, but he’ll try to hang on for as long as he can.
This led me to think that we now live in a time of “if it feels good, ‘Just Do It’.”
During my school days, losing our virginities was not exactly in our agendas. In fact, I remember describing the details of my make-out session with my then very first boyfriend to my good friend, who had never been attached then, and she looked at me with those big, sympathetic eyes, lightly touched my hand and said, “you don’t have to feel dirty about this you know…”. I was then suddenly taken aback and wondered if I should even be feeling dirty in the first place, even though my hymen was still beautifully intact. My friend still laughs about this when I remind her of this very interesting conversation we had when I almost felt like I should run to the MBFMB (My Boyfriend Fondled My Breasts) Crisis Centre.
Today, teenagers might even be able to tell you their favourite sexual positions and show off their g-strings under their jeans, whichever makes them look cool among their peers.
And how many cases of straying married men have you already heard about? Many guy friends even told me to just accept the fact that it’s such a common thing these days, and I’m quite sure that this is exactly the thought that goes through the minds of these married men just before they commit their first adultery. So commonality equates to acceptance?
At this juncture, I’d just like to clarify that this is not a men-bashing article. Believe me, I love men and can’t imagine life without testosterone within our midst! Moreover, I still know many wonderfully faithful men.
Conforming has got everything to do with peer and society pressure.
As children, the acceptable professions we were taught by our parents were in the likes of a teacher, lawyer, doctor, engineer or anything that doesn’t bring shame to the family. Even in today’s context, professions such as an insurance agent or an owner of a multi-level marketing business are what most parents hoped their children would never get into, despite millions who have succeeded in these unorthodox choices of occupation. Why? Because ‘normal’ people don’t do this?
What about people who were pressured by their families and friends to get married or have children only because they have come of age? Never mind if you’re not mentally or emotionally ready. Just don’t bring shame to your family and give other friends and relatives the idea that you’re such a loser that nobody wants to marry you or you have fertility problems. Conform with the society! You can almost hear them chanting, can’t you? It’s no wonder that I’m starting to also hear horror stories of women being so bold in pursuing one of my eligible guy friends. They almost made my friend shudder in fear when he receives an SMS. I told him to get himself a chastity belt.
It’s quite unfortunate that most Singaporeans are conformists. It took the evolution of about one generation for our government to realise this too. So while the government tried hard to encourage creativity within our education system, it also flooded our shores with foreign talents in the hope of introducing a more adventurous mindset within the existing Singaporean workforce which had always believed in going with the flow. ‘Think out-of-the-box’ became the new buzz phrase about 5 years ago.
For the record, some of the world’s most legendary and famous people are non-conformists: Albert Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, Jesus Christ, Bill Gates, Angelina Jolie, Annabelle Chong (gotcha there!).
Now before you wonder if you should become Singapore’s next porn star, you can most certainly still choose to go with the flow and do what you’re expected to do just to pacify the people around you, and not have your great, grand children know who you are after you pass on. We can just be another name and number in the Registry of Births and Deaths.
So when somebody tells me that ‘everybody’s doing it’, I like to ask myself ‘if everybody’s doing it, what makes me so special by doing what everybody does?’ But hey, that’s just me.
This led me to think that we now live in a time of “if it feels good, ‘Just Do It’.”
During my school days, losing our virginities was not exactly in our agendas. In fact, I remember describing the details of my make-out session with my then very first boyfriend to my good friend, who had never been attached then, and she looked at me with those big, sympathetic eyes, lightly touched my hand and said, “you don’t have to feel dirty about this you know…”. I was then suddenly taken aback and wondered if I should even be feeling dirty in the first place, even though my hymen was still beautifully intact. My friend still laughs about this when I remind her of this very interesting conversation we had when I almost felt like I should run to the MBFMB (My Boyfriend Fondled My Breasts) Crisis Centre.
Today, teenagers might even be able to tell you their favourite sexual positions and show off their g-strings under their jeans, whichever makes them look cool among their peers.
And how many cases of straying married men have you already heard about? Many guy friends even told me to just accept the fact that it’s such a common thing these days, and I’m quite sure that this is exactly the thought that goes through the minds of these married men just before they commit their first adultery. So commonality equates to acceptance?
At this juncture, I’d just like to clarify that this is not a men-bashing article. Believe me, I love men and can’t imagine life without testosterone within our midst! Moreover, I still know many wonderfully faithful men.
Conforming has got everything to do with peer and society pressure.
As children, the acceptable professions we were taught by our parents were in the likes of a teacher, lawyer, doctor, engineer or anything that doesn’t bring shame to the family. Even in today’s context, professions such as an insurance agent or an owner of a multi-level marketing business are what most parents hoped their children would never get into, despite millions who have succeeded in these unorthodox choices of occupation. Why? Because ‘normal’ people don’t do this?
What about people who were pressured by their families and friends to get married or have children only because they have come of age? Never mind if you’re not mentally or emotionally ready. Just don’t bring shame to your family and give other friends and relatives the idea that you’re such a loser that nobody wants to marry you or you have fertility problems. Conform with the society! You can almost hear them chanting, can’t you? It’s no wonder that I’m starting to also hear horror stories of women being so bold in pursuing one of my eligible guy friends. They almost made my friend shudder in fear when he receives an SMS. I told him to get himself a chastity belt.
It’s quite unfortunate that most Singaporeans are conformists. It took the evolution of about one generation for our government to realise this too. So while the government tried hard to encourage creativity within our education system, it also flooded our shores with foreign talents in the hope of introducing a more adventurous mindset within the existing Singaporean workforce which had always believed in going with the flow. ‘Think out-of-the-box’ became the new buzz phrase about 5 years ago.
For the record, some of the world’s most legendary and famous people are non-conformists: Albert Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci, Jesus Christ, Bill Gates, Angelina Jolie, Annabelle Chong (gotcha there!).
Now before you wonder if you should become Singapore’s next porn star, you can most certainly still choose to go with the flow and do what you’re expected to do just to pacify the people around you, and not have your great, grand children know who you are after you pass on. We can just be another name and number in the Registry of Births and Deaths.
So when somebody tells me that ‘everybody’s doing it’, I like to ask myself ‘if everybody’s doing it, what makes me so special by doing what everybody does?’ But hey, that’s just me.
posted by Devilsoup at
5:31 PM
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