Happiness Comes From Within

What makes us happy? Owning our very first home, getting married, finally getting our dream car, or simply hanging out with some good company? Then why is it that a friend I know has all these but still isn't happy? Why were there multi-billionaires who decided to commit suicide after losing multi-billions yet still have a few billions left?

We were taught since we're children that in order for us to be successful, we have to study hard, get good grades, get a good job, get promoted, get married, have children and teach them to do the same. But no one ever said anything about happiness, did they? It was only assumed through the public media and the facade that friends put up that happiness will come upon attaining these. What we don't see behind those smiles and glossy ads are feelings of loneliness in million-dollar apartments, waiting up till late nights for spouses to return home from work, disappointed children whose parents broke their promises to spend time with them.

And we wondered why the divorce rate is ever increasing despite couples having had children, successful careers and in some cases, going into retirement. Aren't these people supposed to be happy?

If you haven't already noticed the one thing that all these people have in common, is that these people's happiness is dependant on material possessions, status or other human beings.

Now let's take my friend for example. He's a happily married millionaire with 2 beautiful children, whose business comes easily for him. But in the past 3 years I've known him, he had been so depressed that he had left town without a word at least 5 times to do some 'soul-searching'. He is so attached to the label of being the best in the company that he couldn't accept it when the group he's managing isn't the best. He simply couldn't associate himself with anything lesser than the best.

So if the world's idea of having lots of money to be happy doesn't really give us happiness, what does?

Firstly, let’s qualify what ‘happiness’ is. The popularly known definition in our society of ‘happiness’ is an emotional reaction to a pleasant event. So it's obviously impossible for anyone to be happy all the time because pleasant events don't always happen. However, inner peace is a state of mind that can be practiced as and when required. But how is inner peace defined? Just recall the last time you had no complaints at all, you're not worried about what's to come at work the next day and you begin to be contented with whatever you already have now: a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food on the table and someone to love.

So which would you prefer to own? A volatile emotion called 'happiness', that is dependant on external forces, or inner peace? I have chosen the latter, and I don't spend my time away in search of 'happiness' anymore. If it comes, I simply enjoy the moment and not be addicted to that high feeling of exhilaration. I'm at peace with the Now. Are you?

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. - James Openheim